Shipping Is Tough

I finished playing Final Fantasy VII at the beginning of the month, and it's sort of taken over my brain. In ways I didn't expect! Like, Cloud is really not the typical type of character I go for. He's way more angsty and guilt-ridden. (Zack is very much the type of character I generally go for, but he's barely in the game.) But I keep watching AMVs going "Cloud's hair is so pretty caked in blood" which what? When has that ever been something I have gone for in fictional characters?

And! I came out of the game pretty firmly shipping Aerith/Zack/Cloud. I am not used to OT3s, much less ones where ( spoilers. )

And there's something deliciously painful about most fic featuring these three that I am eating up with a spoon, but there is also a reason why I tend to prefer the fluffy domestic end of the spectrum.

It is all very conflicting and confusing!

Which is probably what has led me to write 7,500 words of fix-it fic/not-fic that is somehow not even close to being finished. (It just keeps growing.) And I'm really enjoying what I'm writing so I kind of want to post it if I finish it, but I am also soooo far from objective about it. I am sure it is in English and not completely unreadable grammatically (and has paragraph breaks!), and that is about it. So that is also very confusing and conflicting.

I feel like I need more exclamation points to properly express my feelings about these developments: !!!!!!!

Also: ??!!?!!